Glow Coaching Blog – Beliefs
This months Blog is about beliefs, beliefs underpin all out thoughts feelings and behaviours they map out how we see the world. Looking at client’s belief systems is an important part of what I do through coaching. This allows people to understand themselves better, and find what they are looking for if any beliefs they have are limiting and sabotaging them getting what they want. Often when beliefs are limiting we work on changing them into empowering beliefs, when these are changed at a subconscious level our thoughts feelings and behaviours and results we get change with them.
Many clients I have don’t believe deep down on a subconscious level that they can have a happy and successful relationship. Often core limiting beliefs are to do with 3 key aspects.
• Is it Possible
• Am I able
• Am I worthy
If you have some subconscious limiting beliefs in any or all of these areas, it make its harder to find the relationship you want with the limiting beliefs affecting your actions.
I mentioned a client last month in the Values Blog who had not identified what she was looking for in a partner and ended up married to the wrong man. Another part of the reason that she ended up in an unhappy relationship is that she had limiting beliefs about herself, she believed she wasn’t worthy of a relationship and should be grateful for any relationship. This is what we in coaching know as a core limiting belief. This limiting belief had stopped her from thinking about what she wanted. A lot of her other thoughts feelings and behaviours came from this core limiting belief, we worked on proving this belief wrong of course she was worthy of a wonderful and happy relationship we all are, she is fun successful and attractive everyone else could see this apart from her. We created a new empowering belief and backed it up with lots of evidence to start embedding the new belief in her mind. This gave her the confidence to be in the driving seat in relationships she was choosing the men she liked for once! It didn’t take long before she met one she liked a lot.
How do I find the core limiting belief in order to change it?
We all have a negative voice in our head that puts us down, you need to listen to that voice and ask it the following question: If that is true what does it mean to me? For example:
- I am fat
- If that is true what does it mean to me?
- That I am unattractive
- If that is true what does it mean to me?
- That no one will want a relationship with me
- If that is true what does it mean to me?
- That I am not worthy of a relationship = Core limiting belief
What other thoughts, feelings and behaviour have you had as a result of this belief? Maybe you have unconsciously been picking bad relationships to prove yourself right! I know I did.
Now question this belief.
- Is it really true?
- Is it a fact?
- How do you know?
- What is the positive opposite of this belief – e.g. I am worthy of a wonderful relationship
- What can a new empowering belief be to replace this old limiting belief?What evidence do you have to back this up. (see article 1 on confidence building if you need help) create a positive list of all your positives to help embed the new belief.
- NOW PRACTICE. It will take time to create a new connection in your brain but with practice this new belief will replace the old one.
Both understanding your values and beliefs create better self awareness, which in turn will build confidence and empower you to get the things you want in life.
I am currently working on an Ebook packed with tips and activities to help you coach yourself, and discover how to get dating happy and find the relationship of your dreams; these will be available next month on Network UK Dating.
I am also working on an exciting weekend workshop project in called “Power Up and Glow for Valentines, we will be running a weekend coaching workshop prior to valentines for single women in London Feb 2011, more details to follow.
Also no matter how confident you are this is always a new level to go to. Don’t forget to check out my website at www.glow-coaching.co.uk coaching is available face to face or over the phone, discounts are available for Network UK Dating members.
Bye for now
Liz – Personal Coach Glow Coaching

